Bug: Chapter 1 - working on the third draft part 2

I remember writing this next passage. I didn’t mean to spend so much time on her act of climbing through the window. It is almost funny how long I spent detailing this. In the end, it was a nothing action. It slowed the pace of the narrative for no purpose. So let’s do more with less.

Second Draft

She couldn’t see much as the window was just above eye level. She was able to see the ceiling of the structure through the dark opening. She used the flashlight to brush away any loose shards of glass, then slowly ran her fingers along the outside windowsill. She pulled herself up, bracing her weight on the outside wall with her legs. The opening was small but she was petite. Peering in, she noticed that the inside was dark, her body blocking most of the only light. Pulling herself in the window up to her waist she slowly rotated onto her back. The framing of the window painful on her back. Now with a view straight up to the ceiling she braced against the top of the wall where window began. Pushing against the inside wall and pulling her waist through she was able to move into a seated position. Awkwardly looking at the wall with her back to the room and her legs dangling outside she reached her left arm outside the window. She then began twisting her pelvis until her right knee was touching the outside wall. Arching her back and bending her knee, she was able to bring her right leg into the room. She was now straddling the window like a horse, her left half of her body outside and the rest of her inside. She continued to twister her pelvis toward the room, swinging her left leg in similar fashion into the room. She was sitting on the window sill looking into the room, several feet off the ground. As soon as she hoped off of the window, the outside light poured into the shack.

Third Draft

She couldn’t see much as the window was just above eye level. She was able to see the ceiling of the structure through the dark opening. She used the flashlight to brush away any loose shards of glass, then slowly ran her fingers along the outside windowsill. She pulled herself up, bracing her weight on the outside wall with her legs. The opening was small but she was petite. Peering in, she noticed that the inside was dark, her body blocking most of the only light. She climbed through the window. As soon as she hoped off of the window, the outside light poured into the shack.